been thinking about the guy i dated at 16 who ruined my life by giving me ptsd. dude is an actual serial rapist. i did not understand back then that the things he told me about having done to others was just that. it was. may he rot.(19/5/26)
god damn it. ever since i put all pictures in a folder, my pngs do not show up. will get to fixing that right now. it's easy too so i don't know why i missed that.(18/5/26)
i often feel like a bad person for being so angry. it's not on purpose, and i don't show it. accusing myself of thought crimes i suppose. no use. no use at all but that is the way of most things i do and think. on another note, would it be annoying as hell if i made a new tab for entire song lyrics and what they mean to me? i listen to an unhealthy amount of Ethel Cain and i want to talk about it. thank you to the 1000 people who were here while i was not. there will be more for you now.(18/5/26)
it's funny how time changes things and how it changes you. the guy i had that gut-wrenching crush on last year, i don't think about anymore. my friend whom i used to write about is no longer in my life, but i'm not sure why. it has been many months now but there is a hole in my heart that only they could fill.(27/8/25)
media essays coming relatively soon. i had forgotten how much i love writing.(26/8/25)
is it over for me? i thought i had finally become emotionally independent, but with a single second of eye contact it all came crashing down.(17/6/24)
ever since i got this laptop a few days ago i've been playing the same flash games as i did 10-15 years ago. back when i couldn't understand how some of them worked because i didn't know english yet. it makes me sad. i feel like a kid again. i wish someone would run their hand through my hair and tell me not to worry about everything all the time.(5/6/24)
i'm going to cut my hair on saturday for the first time in over 2 years. i'm sick of long hair.(5/6/24)
i must learn to play the guitar so i can actually start recording my music.(4/6/24)
i ate too much soup for dinner and now to stomach hurts. ow. for my gluttony i shall pay.(3/6/24)
guestbook-making is not for the weak. i am the weak. it is not for me, but i persist. i want to hear from you.(2/6/24)
isn't it funny the way you feel like a brand new person after washing your hair?(2/6/24)
i'm so tired. i hate to cry. at least i got 2 pngs done for the site.(1/6/24)
i wish my best friend was online so i could talk to them about my ex. they always have something funny to say about him.(1/6/24)
this cold is killing me but the isolation is the worst part of it all. after 96 hours in my apartment the outside world is scary.(25/8/25)