poetry

back to the center

pretty and sometimes scary text, and things that may not make sense. or they may, but they won't rhyme. narrations may be a feature at a later time.

untitled (4&11/7/24)

i'm sorry to bother, i'm usually not the type
but you're on my mind all the time now
and i didn't want to let you slip through my fingers again
i did last time, not because i wanted to
but because i was scared, you scare me
all i want is to be close to you
you scare me
i don't mean to scare you

please give me just a minute, i'll try to be brief
it's just the way you look and how you talk
how you walk and how you move and how we were so close
i could have grasped you then but i had not the guts
in fact, you grasped me without knowing that it would make me yours
was that too much? i'm sorry, i don't want to scare you off
but just like you did my shoulder, you held my heart in your hands
you didn't know

you don't have to love me right away if you can't
actually, you don't have to love me at all
just get used to me, i won't make much noise
i can serve you well, and i'll stay out of your way
life just feels right when i'm around you
for you i'll do anything you ask of me

can i fold your clean clothes?
i can put them away just the way you prefer
i'll keep your home clean and your pets fed
if you have any, i don't know you yet
please be patient as i learn
can i sleep on the floor next to your bed?
i'm fine without a blanket or a pillow your breathing as you sleep are soft enough

could you hold me again just like you did in june?
it has kept me alive until now, but i'd like more
if you're willing, i really hate to ask
talk into my ear again, your lips look so soft
i'll listen closely if you bless me with your words
and i'll wish for you to be so close that your lips brush against my ear just once
i want more than anything to kiss you but i'll take what i can get without complaining
we don't know each other yet, but i've never missed anyone like this before

i'm not saying that you're my everything, that would be strange
it's just that i feel like i haven't been home in months now
i've been without you
what point is there in sticking around if i can't be around you?
if i can't be stuck to you and breathe your air
i don't want to breathe at all
if you don't chew my food for me and feed me from your mouth
i don't want to eat at all

you don't have to let me into your heart today, or tomorrow
but please visit mine
i've tried to tidy up, you see i've been preparing a while
come in, make yourself at home
oh don't mind that, it's just something from the past
i have a hard time getting rid of things, even if they're ugly
i'll try to keep it out of your way
i would do anything, as long as you stay

please, can i come in now?
i don't care if it's unclean
i just want a look around, i want to know you like you know me
can we possess each other? i want you to be mine
i've been yours now for a while, long before you knew
please be mine, i'll keep you from harm
i'll try not to hurt you, and i'll try not to lie

for you i'll be better than i ever was before
just give me one chance, i know you won't regret it
come with me tonight and let me hold your hand
i'll try to be careful, i won't squeeze too hard
we could be something together, tell me you see it the way i do
i'll be who you need me to be, even if it kills me
if you're the last thing i see, i'll die happy